Yesterday was the third day of Thirty in Thirty. The story prompt that I received from Ms, Rulli's class was great. It spoke to me. Okay, I know that sounds rather strange but sometimes when you read one of these prompts you know exactly what to write since it reminds you of something that has happened to you. My dad was a mechanic for United Airlines, and while he never designed a flying car he did find joy in tinkering with things. My uncle was the inventor. He always had a "what if" question going on in his head. He would draw up plans for things and although he never actually built many of them he found satisfaction in using his mind in this way. I pulled from both of them to write this story. Here is the prompt in case you are interested in writing your own story.
Picture Prompt
My dad is always making crazy things. But when I heard about his flying car, this was just too much. After that, he told me that he would take me on a ride in it. Well,... it was …
Here is a link to the story
https://goo.gl/y9PTUs
November 3rd Story Comments
ReplyDeleteWhat did you like about the story?
It was obvious how much you enjoyed writing it! Your “voice” was strong and authentic. I loved the relationship between the child (son?) and the father that you built by including earlier invention experiences they had shared. It was a humorous story and held my interest. You made the whole thing seem plausible by the flying car design details you included, but you didn’t make it so technical that I tuned out.
We liked how the story included a lot of the backstory. It took the dad a while to make the flying car. The dad kept trying and trying to perfect his flying car and he never gave up.
We liked that the story was entertaining. We liked how the dad made many attempts to perfect his flying car. We liked how the story was told from the son’s point of view and not the dad’s. We liked that the dad never gave up. We liked how it was kind of silly about the lawn mower. We liked how there was room for a possible sequel. We liked how the story was interesting.
What didn’t you like?
I think you could have had a stronger beginning than, “Well, it was…great!” It seemed sort of ambiguous (what was great, the vehicle, the ride?) and didn’t lead anywhere. Maybe something more like, “Well, it was…sure not going to happen overnight.” I thought the ending would have been stronger if the child had flown in the airplane with the father, not a pilot. After all, the prompt said the dad had agreed to take the kid for a ride and that never seemed to happen.
We felt like more detail could have been added about what it felt like to fly. The flight could have been longer and more descriptive.
There wasn’t enough dialogue. We felt like it may have needed a stronger beginning. The climax could have been stronger -- we were looking for suspense.
Did the story go in the direction you were expecting?
Mostly. I certainly was rooting for Dad to succeed with his project and would have been disappointed if the story hadn’t ended up there. But you extended the timeline farther than I expected.
Yes.
Yes and no.
Did the story follow the prompts lead?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes
Other Comments:
Great job!