Extended Prompt
I never believed that the Loch Ness Monster was real, until that family trip to Scotland. The van rumbled along the dirt road. My dad was at the wheel drinking his large coffee, my mom was reading her magazines, my older sister was on her phone, my annoying little brother was reading his science fiction books, and my whiny sister was thankfully sleeping. We were driving past Loch Ness lake when I saw it…
I struggled with how I would weave these characters together and where the story would end up. My story would have been better served to add several lines about each character so you came to know them better. I also think I should of had the relationships going first and then see where those relationships took me. Instead I simply went for the easy way and when I couldn't find an ending to my Loch Ness masacre I made it a dream. This was one story that I would like to rewrite in the future and post since I know I didn't do it justice.
In the end I put words on a page, and writing, any writing, can have value and help develop needed skills. All of these stories for the Thirty Days project are first drafts with no revisions or rewriting. I simply take the prompt I am given and try to make a story out of it. This story goes to show that if you are going to get good at "writing to a prompt" you need to write, a lot.
Here is a link to the story
https://goo.gl/C7DJKe
Here is a link to the story
https://goo.gl/C7DJKe
November 2nd Story Comments
ReplyDeleteWhat did you like about the story?
I liked the Nessie appearance that turned out to be a different Nessie than we were expecting (at the beginning of the story). That definitely piqued my interest. There was a lot of action and some suspense. I was happy to see a female protagonist. Good to show students that it is possible to write from a different perspective than one’s own.
We liked the story in general -- the dream was a surprise. The story was entertaining. The story was ready for a sequel and we like sequels. It was better than the first story.
We liked the way you used really rich words to make the story have more suspense -- it makes it more intense. We liked the suspense and it was interesting. We liked the ending. We liked the descriptive detail. We liked how Nessie pulled the boy out of the boat and he was by himself. We liked how you were descriptive in the climax.
What didn’t you like?
I really thought the story line was fine, if a bit predictable toward the end. I’m not an English teacher and it’s difficult to evaluate writing without knowing what the expectations are. If you were expanding this story, some dialog would flesh out the characters. (As you mentioned, most of the characters weren’t involved much in the story.)
We felt like it could have more character development. It was a little predictable. It didn’t have any dialogue.
We felt like Nessie could have been even more descriptive. We felt like part of the dream was gruesome.
Did the story go in the direction you were expecting?
Yes, eventually. There was foreshadowing that led me to believe there would be a dream sequence, and you did not disappoint.
Some people felt like it was predictable. We also thought it just ended and that the dream would repeat. We liked that there wasn’t so many I’s and My’s.
We felt like the story was a little predictable. Some people felt like they knew it was going to be a dream, and some people didn’t.
Did the story follow the prompt’s lead?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Other Comments:
Your honesty when reflecting on the experience (“I could have done a better job and will improve with practice”) is refreshing.
We felt like it was a good story. We really liked it! It was really entertaining.
We felt like the setting helped the story came to life. The fog was almost its own character. We felt like there could have been more description of the road.